Center of His Will

I’m in this place today, this place of retrospect, this place of looking over my life and seeing what I’ve learned, what I would change, mistakes I’ve made. So many things I would change, yet I wouldn’t change anything. Everything that I have been through, those things you may know about and the things that few know, they have made me who I am today. I look back and wonder how things would be different. I wonder I made different choices, if I’d be in a different place, a better place in my life than I am…I don’t know. I’ll never know. What I do know is that everything I’ve been through, every choice I have made, whether it be a good one or not, has led me to this place. On the “outside” it may look as if this place isn’t so good. I still don’t have a job, I don’t have a car, or a place to call my own, or a relationship. BUT, what I do have is peace. Peace knowing that I am in the very center of His will for my life. I am exactly where He wants me, and even though it’s really hard to understand, and getting to this “place” has caused a great deal of pain and heartache, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It has been hard, I’m not going to lie, very hard. I have lost much, I have given up much, I have sacrificed much, and at times I get so angry because I don’t see that the price has been worth it. All I have to hold on to are these promises that He’s given me. To me, that’s a lot. His promises for me are huge! He has a lot to come through with.


I wonder sometimes if I missed Him, if I’ve taken a wrong step, or a wrong turn. I wonder if I wasn’t listening close enough, or at all. Because surely His plan for me couldn’t include all this pain, all these tears?! But then He reminds me that He has always been right beside me, those times I wasn’t listening, He walked beside me, those times I took a wrong turn, He was there, those times when I screamed, I cried, I yelled, He was there. Those times when I curled up on my bed and just wept, He was right there. He has always been there. No matter where I was, what I was feeling, what mistake I made, He was always there, comforting me, cheering me on, picking me up, holding me, some times carrying me. Why? To get me here, to this place that I am right now. This is where He has wanted me. He is writing in me a story that is undeniably from Him. He is writing the story of Andrea Leigh Quinney; One of hope, strength, perseverance, and power. He is growing in me a character that is beyond myself. He is teaching me a faith and a trust in Him that is above anything this world could ever know. He is proving to me what true love really is. He is allowing me this time with Him that I will never take for granted, to love Him and Him alone. To have Him be the King of my love story, while He leads the way for my Prince to come is amazing.

So, while the world may say that I am not successful, that I am not doing what I need to do, I’m not persistent enough, or whatever. My God says that I am in the center of His will. I am doing exactly what He wants. It isn’t easy and at times I doubt everything, BUT He reminds me that He is leading me. It’s that Easy! I am so grateful for Him, so thankful for His grace and His mercy that is so evident in my life. Someday the details of this grace, this mercy, His Sovereignty will be recorded in my book, but until then you’ll just have to take my word for it;)



Dreaming His Dreams,

Andrea