Hard...

Here I am in this place...this place I never thought I would be. I have no idea what is next, no idea where to go or what to do. What do you do when all your plans, when all the things you've hoped for, all the things you've planned for crumble at your feet? The only thing I know to do is to turn to the Maker of my being, the Lover of My soul. He is the only One who knows exactly where I am, He knows exactly what this feels like. He knows my heart has been completely broken into a million pieces, and He alone can mend it back together. When I can't sleep and when I don't know how I am going to get up in the morning, He is there picking me up and holding my tears in His hands. He has a plan that is far greater than I can ever imagine and even in the pain, His will be done. What if these raindrops are really Your blessings in disguise? What if Your healing through these tears? What if all these sleepless nights are what it's taking for me to know You are near? What is this trial is really Your mercies in disguise?

TO YOU:
I don't remember my life before you, it was only a year, but it was a year that completely changed me. It was a year that I wouldn't trade for anything, no matter what...
For the first time in my life you showed me what it means to truly be loved, completely loved for who I was, for who I am, and for whom you knew I was going to be. You loved me as unconditionally as humanly possible. You were my earthly example of My Heavenly Father's love for me. You are my best friend, the one I cried with, laughed with, and dreamed with. YOu are an amazing man with an amazing future in store. I hope that one day you will see yourself the way that I see you. I hope that one day, when you look in the mirror you will see all the love, strength, courage, gentleness, kindness, and beauty that I see. My prayer for you, is that you will find what you are looking for, that you will find that inner peace, that you will finally be settled in who you are and who you are in Him. Whereever that is and where ever that sends you and whatever that means to you. I love you with my whole being and a part of me always will. If our paths should cross again, then I will love you more, but if this is where our journey together ends, I want to leave you with this---you are an amazing man who has an amazing gift. You have given me the gift of being loved, and that is something that is irreplaceable and I will carry it with me forever. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I pray that we will find the courage to move forward, that we will continue to seek His will above our own and we will find the strength to move on. I pray that the hurts will heal and we will be able to use them to minister to others, and in the hurt we will become a better version of ourselves. I pray that as we seek His will for our lives, we will find that His plans are good, so good. I pray that through this we have learned that true love is a gift, a rare gift, and should we get the chance to give this gift again that we will treat it with the highest of respect. I pray that we have learned to love harder and live greater. Finally, I pray that in the face of questions, opinions, and judgements that we will raise our heads high, and stand firm in our Savior. I will always love you...tidbits.

Broken,

Andrea