Have you ever been in a place where you feel so completely lost? This is where I am. I feel lost. Completely lost. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, that I'm not LIVING my life. I have so many dreams, so many things I want to accomplish. When I look back on my life I want to be able to say, to see, that I have truly lived, that I have accomplished much, that my dreams came true. How did I get here? How did I get so lost? In a way, I feel like I've moved backwards---everything says I've moved backwards. I don't have a job, I'm living with my sister, I've loved and lost, etc. Before I left Waxahachie in 2009, I had a great job, a house of my own, a car, a "real" life...I had never truly loved. Now that I'm back, I've truly loved, but I lost him, etc. In my human mind, with my human eye, my fleshly perspective, I have walked backwards. BUT I know that God called me back to Hachie. I know that I am here for a season, I KNOW this. Noone else may understand it, but I KNOW. I've lost everything now, in a way, I've even lost myself. So, now I have to find myself. I have to rediscover who I am, where I went, what I do, etc. I have to define myself. I have to listen to my Spirit, not my heart as I have learned it is deceptive. I can't listen to anyone, ANYONE else. Only I know what God is telling me. Only I know what He speaks to me. If noone else agrees, or noone else understands, that has to be ok...because only I know what He is saying to me, where He tells me to go, what He tells me to do, etc. Only I know.
Broken,
Andrea
Andrea, so glad you know that He speaks to you and when. You are learning with Shawn, that what people think doesn't even matter! Only what God thinks is important! You are learning again to listen to Him, trust Him and obey Him. He is to be our priority always! I'm so very proud of you! Follow after God first and He will never disappoint! Love you! Mom
ReplyDeleteMANY voices bounce around in our head, but only ONE matters. The trick is learning to ignore all but that ONE> When He speaks to us it is a "still quite whisper", but it is the one voice that sticks out above all others. It is easy to ignore the ONE and listen to the others, because we don't necessarily like what the One is saying. Listening and obeying are "the very best way to show that we believe" (old kids song Mary and I used to teach kids when we led Children's Church years ago) Andrea, your awesome keep listening to that one small voice, and EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT better then you could ever imagine.
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