Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams. We all have them. We've all dreamt big dreams and then lost them...whether it be because we were afraid, because of the choices we made, or simply because they weren't necessarily God's dreams for us...God dreams big dreams for us, over us. This is where I am now, in the "land of broken dreams". I'm a dreamer, I've always been a dreamer. My siblings might say I'm unrealistic, but what's the point of dreaming, if they seem to big, to perfect to be real, right? I've had alot of dreams in my 32 years of life. Some have come to pass...I have a Master's degree, I have the car I've wanted since I was 16, etc. But some dreams have been broken. Broken so bad that I can't even pick up the pieces. I've had dreams of a marriage, a family, to be a wife and a mother. Sometimes, the reality of these broken dreams is so real, so unbearable, that it is hard to breath. I cry alot when I think about the broken dreams. I know this is where I am right now, it is still fresh, still new. I also know that on the other side of these broken dreams, when I have new dreams, it won't be so painful. These have been dreams I have dreamt my entire life...and for the first time, a year ago, I got so close...closer to seeing this dream become a reality than I've ever been in my life...and then a couple of months ago it began to crumble right before my very eyes, and i didn't know how, or couldn't, stop it. Broken Dreams...I know that God dreams bigger for me than I could ever dream for myself. I struggle with why He would allow things, just to take them away, but no matter what, Blessed be His Name. I'm a blank slate...I have no preconcieved ideas of what my future holds, of what my dreams are. I guess this is a good place to be huh? It allows Him to do whatever He wants...completely. I still have the dream of being a wife and a mother, but I also know that if that wasn't part of His dream for me, it wouldn't be a desire of mine.
He sees the big picture. He knows why this dream fell apart, maybe to allow for a bigger dream for both of us? I don't know...but, I do know that I give Him my broken dreams, so that He can give me His big ones.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I tried:)

Learning to live through my broken dreams,

Andrea