It's already February 1. Can you believe it? Only 11 months left in 2012! Crazy when you think about it. January wasn't what I expected, but it was exactly what God wanted. In January, I started to learn that hurting is ok, and He is the Healer of broken hearts, broken dreams. I started to learn to trust Him with everything...everything inside and out...my hurts, my fears, my brokeness, my doubts, everything. I am learning that He is true to His Word. I am learning that His Word really applies to me, He meant everything He said, and He meant it for me. I am learning to look forward instead of backwards. I am learning that His grace is suffucient and His mercies are new every morning! I still don't have a job, but I don't worry about it anymore. I KNOW that I have done everything that He has asked of me. I have been obedient in everything and so now, He MUST follow through with His promises!
I do want to make this clear...my blogs the past few months have been full of hurt, pain, and at times anger, BUT the things I've been through, the relationship I had, I don't regret. I loved him with everything I was. I don't hate him, I don't despise him, most of the time I don't even hurt anymore. What does hurt is some of the choices he is making, I only want God's absolute best for him and I'm not sure he is striving for that. I don't understand alot of the things that happened, alot of the choices that were made, but I do know that I loved him. We both made mistakes, we both learned, we both felt hurt and pain. I believe that God will turn this all into good. This relationship will be a chapter in my book, a good chapter. He was my first love and I won't ever forget him because of that. I will pray for him everyday and wish him all the happiness in the world!
Now back to me:) There are so many things that I want God to do this year, so many things, but more than anything I want Him to do what He wants. I want Him to dream His dreams for me. Next January, I want to be able to look back at the past year and stand in awe-struck wonder at what He has done in me and for me. He has asked that I "marry Him" this year. This is harder than it sounds. I want someone with skin on, but I want Him more. He has promised so many things to me and I will do whatever He asks of me. If anything, He knows now that I will obey Him no matter what the cost. He has promised, that like Abraham and Isaac, I have sacrificed much, but my blessings will be much; not only do I have this amazing, anointed, incredible husband preparing himself for me, I have a calling, an anointing, books to write, dreams to dream, and fairytales to watch unfold! It is exciting, the things He is getting ready to release to me:) Although the pain is, was, great; the blessings HAVE to be greater! I'm so ready to live out the next 11 months!
Dreaming His Dreams,
Andrea
Anger, hurt, pain, shaking your fist at God, are all part of growing. Learning that He cares for you,regardless of your current feelings for Him at the moment is a lesson we all must face. God NEVER lets ( I want to emphasize that word: LETS< not makes) you face anything you cannot handle. He carries you,if needed, and if your like me that need is much of the time, He goes before you, He walks with you, He celebrates the goals we have checked off, and He lets us lean on Him in the other times. Never forget: His Light is so much more then the worlds darkness. Andrea you are growing, He is leading, and your following. I celebrate that with you.
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