Joy in 2012!!

There are 12 days left in the 2011 year. This year, this 2011, has been one of the hardest years of my life. There were times when I really didn't think I would survive...when my heart, my spirit, was so broken I felt like I couldn't breath. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, many days I just walked through the motions of living. I don't want to bring my 2011 into my 2012. I need 2012 to be better. I need 2012 to bring breakthroughs. I need 2012 to be filled with more joy, more laughter, more provision, more love, more humor, and more peace. I need 2012 to be good...really good. Good for me, for my family, for those close to me. I'm not to naive to believe that there won't be pain, suffering, sorrow, in 2012, but I do believe that God can and will (as it is my desire) to bring more of the good stuff than the other.
God told me the other day that I don't settle. I refuse to settle, so because of that, the rewards will be great but the time may be longer (you think?:)) I take refuge in this on most days, but there are these other days where I get so mad...why can't I just be ok with "settling?" Why can't I just be ok with that? I'm talking about everything...I want the "perfect for me" everything. The perfect for me job, car, house, spouse, everything. I've waited to long to just settle. I've tried to hard, had to let go of to much to just settle for being happy and content. I want anointed. I don't want to just survive!
That's all I have for today:)

Simply Broken,

Andrea

Have you ever?

Have you ever been in a place where you have told God that if you lose everything you have, if He chooses to take it all, then its okay? And really mean it? That’s where I am right now. I don’t have a job. Now, I am watching a friends baby, but it is all the way in Arlington and they can’t afford to pay me much, but I am grateful for anything at all, at this point:) So, my car (Lola) is 5 months behind in payments—which stinks because she would have been paid off in February. They haven’t taken her, she’s “hiding” at my parents—really her battery was dead when I moved so I had to leave her with my parents for the time being. I am driving my brothers car, which is also on the “repo” list…I don’t know what to do and have lost many hours of sleep over these two things alone, BUT there isn’t anything that I can do. I have applied for every job that I could, I have been to many, and I mean MANY, interviews, only God knows. Only God knows what He is doing, even when I don’t understand. My dad stresses all the time about money, the finances, taking on my brothers bills while he isn’t able too…BUT I know He who is able!:) I am learning that I cannot go by my feelings, or by what I see with my “fleshly” eyes. I must take on a new perspective. I must take a step back and change my glasses…adjust my vision…the God, the Creator of the Universe, MY God, loves me more than anyTHING in this entire world, this entire universe…so if he chooses to take everything that I have, I still have Him. It’s just stuff…He will always provide, He is always faithful, He always comes through. I can not worry---I can not lose moments of my life in worry. I must remember, I must declare what He has already done for me. I must remember the things that I do have that can never be taken away…my salvation, redemption, freedom, as well as my family, friends, love, hope, and a future. This valley may be long, it may be hard, and it may, at times, feel impossible to get through, BUT I am closer to the edge of the mountain than I was yesterday:)!

Simply Broken,
Andrea