Simpy His Best

I write. I don’t write for any one else but me. Some people are shocked when they find out I have an online journal; that I would want the whole world to read my deepest thoughts, my struggles, etc. A journal is supposed to be personal, it’s supposed to be private, between God and me. You know what? It is. Every time I write a blog, I am not thinking about the people that may be reading this, I’m not thinking about the repercussions that may come with revealing my deepest thoughts and my inner most feelings…All I am thinking about in that moment, is where I am. Period. I am a thinker and I think fast…sometimes my hands don’t write as fast as I am thinking and I don’t get everything out when I write on paper, in a journal. I type fast…and I feel like this way I get everything out faster and I have a better chance of remembering where I want to go with it;) This journal is a forever reminder to me and to those who read it, of how faithful God is. It is a reminder that even in the midst of pain and sorrow, confusion, anger, and doubt, He is still faithful! It is a reminder that in the midst of joy, laughter, really good days, that He is the One from whom all blessings flow! I’m a writer. God has gifted me with this and I am really learning to enjoy it.


Now moving on…just a little something I have been thinking about recently. Second Best. Why do we say that? Why do we feel that? Second Best. Those words can make someone feel like they are not good enough. They can make someone feel like they just fell short of the best. For example, the Olympics…a silver medal in my mind is WAY impressive! However, to the winner of the silver medal, although it is a great achievement, it stands as a constant reminder that they were second best, that there is someone else who was better then them. I can imagine, that although they are thrilled with their silver medal, they work a lot harder the next four years, because they want the gold one!

I HATE the words, “second best.” I am learning that, for me, second best, is not ok. Those aren’t the write words. It simply means that I wasn’t God’s perfect plan for you, and you weren’t God’s perfect plan for me; whether that be a relationship, a job, or whatever. It simply means that God has a bigger and better plan for both of us.

So, I am not second best, rather I am holding out for HIS BEST for me. I have drawn a line in the sand and said I will not settle. I will not settle for less than HIS best FOR ME. That doesn’t mean that I am not good enough for you, or vice versa, it simply means that there is someone else, something else, that perfectly fits into the puzzle that He has designed for both of our lives. I will no longer be okay with just a silver medal; I will get the Gold ONE;)

Simply designed for HIS BEST,

Drea

One Year Ago Today...

A year ago today the Quinney family's lives changed forever.  Taking myself back to exactly a year ago, I had to remind myself to breath every breath.  I was so low in the valley that even seeing the mountain was impossible.  It was so dark, so deep, so desperate.  I was angry at God for the outcome.  I was so angry!  I didn't see a way out, I didn't have any hope in this God that I lived my entire life believing in.  It had already been such a hard year for me personally, I didn't think I could take any more.  I remember crying myself to sleep for months.  I remember the pain that I felt, the blow to the stomach that hit me every single day for weeks.  I remember wondering how I was going to make it through every day, much less the weeks, the months that were to come.  I remember wondering how we were going to make it through birthdays, holidays, without him.  I remember wondering how I would ever be able to carry on with my life, knowing that he wasn't going to be around.
Yet, here I am...one year later.  We made it through the holidays, the birthdays.  We survived.  I have carried on with my life, although it hasn't been easy, I have done it.  I never thought I would be able to look back at this past year and be thankful for anything---but, I am SO THANKFUL that I have a God who is faithful.  He has always come through for me.  He has never left me, never forsaken me.  There are things that this Quinney family has faced, that many of you may never know about or understand, but I can tell you that because of HIM, we have come through!!  No, this journey is not over, but I can look forward with my head held high, with peace knowing that the best is yet to come!  I KNOW that my brother will be free.  I KNOW that he will share holidays and birthdays with us again, and soon.  I know that he will be there when I get married.  I am so thankful that I have a God who cares more about us than we care about each other.  I am thankful that I have a Father who really does know best.  I am thankful that He sees the whole puzzle when I only see the piece in my hand.  I am just so thankful!
We are a blessed family, we are a greatful family, we are a changed family!

Blessed to breath again,

Andrea