Simple Obedience

I am learning that some people in my life, or that used to be in my life, do not understand obedience.  They do not understand what that really means.  It would look like I am just being stupid, ignorant. lazy, etc...because I do not have a job, I do not have a car, I am living with my sister, I am 32 years old, etc.  They measure happiness, they measure success based on "things," a house, a car, a relationship, a family, on what looks good, what looks fulfilling.  How many of these people are truly happy, even though they have those "things?"  They have decided that having those things right now is worth risking their very soul.  They don't understand the urgency of His coming.  They don't understand that there isn't time to play around and feed the flesh...the time is short!   What good is any of that if I have not listened to the Lord?  If I choose to have all those things, knowing that I am not in the very center of His will?  I am not saying that you can't have both, but for me, those things would require me to step out of His perfect will for my life, and that is something that I am not okay with.
This is what I do KNOW...I KNOW that God told me to move back to Waxahachie, I KNOW that He told me to be a part of FFI.  I know that the circumstances around that are not at all what I would have planned BUT I KNOW that I am exactly where God wants me.  I am learning to depend completely on Him!  Because of my obedience, although at times it has been neither swift nor severe, I have lost relationships and friendships simply because they did not understand my obedience...I can serve God anywhere, why would I stay in a place where I am alone, when I can go somewhere and have the things, or the love, that I want?  Because that isn't what God asked of me...I do believe that He would bless me wherever I was, that I would be happy...but I KNOW that I would always wonder, part of me would always regret...So, because of my obedience I have lost much, BUT I believe that I am gaining so much more.  I am learning myself in a new way.  I am learning my Father in a new way.  My obedience to Him allows Him to bless me more than I have ever dreamed!  Although, right now, the pain, hurt, rejection, etc. is sometimes more than I can bear, I keep my focus on the things that God has promised me.  I have to believe that there is no cost that is too great, no pain that will not be worth what He has in store for me.  I have to believe this, otherwise I don't think I could survive.
You just wait and see!  You watch what happens in my life, what God does in my life, the miracles that He will perform, the undeniable blessings from Him!  Knowing that He is smiling upon me is the greatest joy of my life!

I am Different!

A year ago I would not have responded to this situation the same.  I would have been more hurt, I would have taken every word they said to heart, I would have believed every word, no matter how false they were, I would have believed them.  BUT now, today, I am not the same.  I AM DIFFERENT!  I know who I am.  I know what God says about me, what His Word says about me.  I know and it's that I will choose to believe!  I know who God sees me to be, and although I am not perfect, I am a child of the Risen King!  His daughter, His heiress!
Many people do not understand my obedience.  They do not understand because they are only seeing with their physical eyes.  They only see what they see.  They see me jobless, carless, poor, living with my sister, etc.  But they don't know what I know...they don't see what I see.  They don't know the amazing promises that God has given me...some based solely on my simple, or not so simple, obedience.  They don't see what my future holds like I do.  They don't know about the sacrifices that I have made to be obedient.  They don't know that He has promised that if I just trust Him, He will give me above and beyond anything I could ever dream!  I am dreaming His dreams, and even though they may not be what I would have dreamed, or looked the way I would have thought---they are so much more!  I wish I could take you all into my soul, into my heart, so you could feel what I feel, so you could expoerience what I experience! 
Every sacrifice, every hurt, every pain will be for a greater purpose!  I can say this, I am SO greatful, so thankful that I serve a God who knows the future from the beginning.  That He knows what is best for me, more than I do.  I am so thankful that He knows what I need, who I need and that He doesn't always answer my prayers with the answers I want when praying them! 

Come Like the Rain!

Wow! I know that it has been a little bit since I have written in here, but I really haven't had a lot to say, and I was tired of writing the same old stuff, the same feelings, emotions, stories, etc, so I just stopped writing for a while. I AM BACK:)!

Let me tell you that God is amazing! I can't explain to you everything that has happened in my life the past couple of months, the past couple of weeks. Something is stirring up within me! No, my circumstances have not changed, in fact by the world's standards, you would say that they have gotten a little worse (no need for details). BUT, I know who my Source is!!! My future is amazing!
God has required alot from me.  He has asked me sacrifice, that at times seemed so great.  Everything within me wanted to make sure that I was really hearing God, because I didn't want it to be true.  My flesh, my heart, did not want to sacrfice what He was asking of me.  But my spirit, my soul, could not NOT do it.  I knew that He would not ask me to give something up that He would not give back in return 100 times greater than I could ever imagine! 
My mind is in a new place, my heart is in a new place.  Everything that happens in my life, I know is for a purpose.  I know that He has great things in store for me, a ministry that I haven't even tasted yet.  I know that there are young women out there that will be going through things that I have already gone through, and because of the wisdom gained through my own circumstances, I will be able to help them get to where I am, where I will be, quicker!  Praise Jesus!  I know that there are great things in store for me, for my future! 
There is a song that I have been listening to alot lately, and it is the cry of my heart, my soul!  I would like to share it with you.  No matter what my soul longs for Him!  My soul longs for who He is, for what He desires, nothing and noone else will do!  Come like the Rain, Lord Jesus!

  

Only YOU!

Why am I so afraid? Why am I so afraid of confrontation? Why am I so concerned with what people think? How did I get here? Why didn't I realize this sooner? How do I change it? How do I fix this? Why do I feel this innate need to make everyone around me happy, and sometimes dismiss my own? I HATE it...I want to change it? I have come so far...been through so much, just to let what other people think affect me like this?! God, please break this off of me...I only want what you think to matter...I hear your voice, I know your voice. I know what you tell me, and I know where you are leading me....even when noone else understands it, when maybe noone else agrees with it...I KNOW! I have to go with that, I have to trust that within my self. I have to! Who my friends are, where I live, who I am or am not in a relationship with, who I choose to marry, spend my time with, all of those things shouldn't matter to anyone but You. I need to be trusted, whether I make a mistake or not, I need to be trusted. I am an adult, I am a grown-up. I strive for nothing more than YOUR will for my life...and whether anyone else thinks it is "right" or not, shouldn't matter. Help me to continue learning how to completely concern myself with what only YOU think! PLEASE!

Real Quick

It's been a month since I last posted on this blog. My life has been so busy over the last few weeks that I simply didn't have the time to post anything! So many things that God is doing. I wish I had the time and the words to share, to explain everything He is doing...in my life, my church, my world. I am learning so much. I am learning to lean on God for everything, I mean EVERYTHING! I am learning to go to Him first, to listen to Him only. I have friends that He has placed in my life, yes, but He is the one I turn to. My friends, although they have my best interest at heart, or what they think is my best interest, sometimes comes across as judgement, or just plain nosiness. But, I am learning that God is my final say...that I hear His voice and I listen to Him and everyone else must just trust me to do what He says. I have come to far to turn back now:)!
I still don't have a job, I still don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that He is my source! Not man, but God! I know that He has a plan and a purpose for me and I will strive to follow Him everyday with everything that I am. Watch what He unfolds in my life! This has been a short blog, but sweet, very sweet:) I will write again soon!

Moving Forward,

Andrea

He is Good.

There are alot of songs in the past few years that have talked about the goodness of God. Recently, a song titled, "You Are Good" has become a favorite. The lyrics are:

I want to scream it out

From every mountain top

Your goodness knows no bounds

Your goodness never stops

Your mercy follows me

Your kindness fills my life

Your Love amazes me

I sing because You are good

And I dance because You are good

And I shout because You are good

You are good to me to me

Nothing and no one comes
Anywhere close to You

The earth and oceans deep

Only reflect this truth

And in my darkest night

You shine as bright as day

Your Love amazes me

With a cry of praise my heart will proclaim

You are good You are good

In the Sun or rain my life celebrates

You are good You are good.

Did you read that last line? "In the Sun OR rain, my life celebrates. YOU ARE GOOD. I looked up the definition of "good" and this is what I found:

Good=morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious; satisfactory in quality, quantity; being of high quality; excellent; right; proper; fit.

God is GOOD. He is excellent. No matter where I, or you, may be at in this journey of life, He is GOOD. SO GOOD. No matter what troubles I face, no matter what bills are piling up, no matter where my brother is, or what my circumstances look like, He is GOOD. My soul, my spirit, cries out His goodness. I want my life to be a testimony of God's goodness. I thank Him for being so good to me. It is His nature to be good to me. It is His desire. He is Good. I don't think I can say it enough! I used to think that being called "good" wasn't a strong enough word, it needed to be "awesome," or "great," but now, being "good" is perfect. It's more than enough. It carries it's own strength. God is Good.
So, the next time you look at your life and feel that you have been neglected, or your heart hurts, or you aren't where you thought you would be in this life...take a minute to remember that God has been GOOD to you. He is good! Sing a sing of His goodness, or hey, for those "brave" ones out there--dance because He is good! God is so good!

Relishing in His Goodness,

Andrea

11 months

It's already February 1. Can you believe it? Only 11 months left in 2012! Crazy when you think about it. January wasn't what I expected, but it was exactly what God wanted. In January, I started to learn that hurting is ok, and He is the Healer of broken hearts, broken dreams. I started to learn to trust Him with everything...everything inside and out...my hurts, my fears, my brokeness, my doubts, everything. I am learning that He is true to His Word. I am learning that His Word really applies to me, He meant everything He said, and He meant it for me. I am learning to look forward instead of backwards. I am learning that His grace is suffucient and His mercies are new every morning! I still don't have a job, but I don't worry about it anymore. I KNOW that I have done everything that He has asked of me. I have been obedient in everything and so now, He MUST follow through with His promises!
I do want to make this clear...my blogs the past few months have been full of hurt, pain, and at times anger, BUT the things I've been through, the relationship I had, I don't regret. I loved him with everything I was. I don't hate him, I don't despise him, most of the time I don't even hurt anymore. What does hurt is some of the choices he is making, I only want God's absolute best for him and I'm not sure he is striving for that. I don't understand alot of the things that happened, alot of the choices that were made, but I do know that I loved him. We both made mistakes, we both learned, we both felt hurt and pain. I believe that God will turn this all into good. This relationship will be a chapter in my book, a good chapter. He was my first love and I won't ever forget him because of that. I will pray for him everyday and wish him all the happiness in the world!
Now back to me:) There are so many things that I want God to do this year, so many things, but more than anything I want Him to do what He wants. I want Him to dream His dreams for me. Next January, I want to be able to look back at the past year and stand in awe-struck wonder at what He has done in me and for me. He has asked that I "marry Him" this year. This is harder than it sounds. I want someone with skin on, but I want Him more. He has promised so many things to me and I will do whatever He asks of me. If anything, He knows now that I will obey Him no matter what the cost. He has promised, that like Abraham and Isaac, I have sacrificed much, but my blessings will be much; not only do I have this amazing, anointed, incredible husband preparing himself for me, I have a calling, an anointing, books to write, dreams to dream, and fairytales to watch unfold! It is exciting, the things He is getting ready to release to me:) Although the pain is, was, great; the blessings HAVE to be greater! I'm so ready to live out the next 11 months!

Dreaming His Dreams,

Andrea